Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Dirty Jobs

Anybody else out there watch this show? Mike Rowe is a guy I could totally see having a beer with.

Occasionally I Don't Even Know How To Respond

Every once in a while I come across someone who isn't dumb, but just says or does something so remarkably stupid that I'm not even sure what to say in response. They tend to stick out in my memory pretty well.

About twelve years ago I was dating a girl. She really is pretty bright, but one time she was working on a paper she was writing (we were in college at the time). She was editing it and couldn't figure out why all of the alignment and formatting was getting screwed up when she would delete or move text. She had hit return at the end of every line of type like she was using a typewriter.

A few years ago I took a temp job doing some basic office work for a woman who was on maternity leave. I was trying to find a file for some business they were doing with The Gap. After I spent some time looking for the file and asking people around the office I finally found it in the woman's filing cabinet. Anyone care to guess where it was filed? That's right, under "T".

Last week I sent out a stack of loan forms for a client to sign and fax back to me. I put little "sign here" stickers in all the appropriate places. Yesterday he dutifully signed them and faxed them back to me.

Of course the "sign here" stickers were on all the faxes. Now, that in itself isn't all that stupid, a simple oversight. However, when I called him and asked him to refax the documents without the stickers he told me to just take them off my copies.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

This Guy Should Run For DNC Chair

I realize this is pretty old, but I hadn't seen it. All I can say is "Wow."

From Online Journal:
Is it the weather or government terror?

By Jerry Mazza
Online Journal Contributing Writer

October 22, 2005—Government manipulation of weather for terror and destruction is one pattern your local weatherman is surely not pointing out. So let me help with the forecast, past, present and long-range.

Starting on December 26, 2004, you had the Indian Ocean earthquake and tsunami, an undersea earthquake that generated a tsunami that killed approximately 275,000 people. As the linked article reports, the magnitude of the Indian Ocean quake now stands at 9.15, making it one of the most deadly and frightening in history. From the third paragraph, come some hair-raising facts . . .

In May, scientists reported that the earthquake itself lasted nearly ten minutes when most major earthquakes last no more than a few seconds; it caused the entire planet to vibrate at least a few centimetres. It also triggered earthquakes elsewhere, as far away as Alaska.

... snip ..

So, around the world, we seem to be having a wave of major earthquakes. In fact, let's return to Islamabad's catastrophe, as reported in the New York Times, Pakistan Quake Rocks South Asia; Over 18,000 Killed.

We find that the quake centered in the Hindu Kush Mountains of Pakistan, emitting tremors all across South Asia, actually killing more than 25,000 people. The quake weighed in at 7.6. Its epicenter, some 60 miles north of Pakistani's capital, caused some 20 "significant aftershocks" measuring between 5 and 6.2 magnitude. The tremors went as far east as New Delhi, the Indian capital, west to Kabul, Afghanistan's capital, the "biggest shock and awe to strike the country in a century," besides of course the US Military, and in some ways even more potent.

That brings me to my central concern of government involvement. That involvement covers also the recent spate of hurricanes, including the most disastrous Katrina, which has now drowned an entire American city, which itself looks like one of those ravaged third world cities which are part of or are near political hotspots . . .

"I've been trying to figure something in my head, and maybe you can help me out, yeah? When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading "Guns and Ammo", masturbating in your own feces, do you just stop and go, 'Wow! It is amazing how fucking crazy I really am!'? Yeah. Do you guys do that?"

*** Update *** The Museum of Left-Wing Lunacy has another doozy of an example of somebody who clearly has lost touch with reality.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Sometimes I just am amazed

I opened a new checking account yesterday. It wasn't until after 3 pm so the money won't be available until tomorrow. I wasn't really thinking about that and I went to a convenience store this morning to pick up some convenience store crap. Soda, smokes and a couple of other things.

When I went to pay, they had the automatic electronic check thing and my check was declined. I started handing back the stuff and explaining to the guy what had happened. He told me to take the stuff and come back and pay him tomorrow. It made my whole day.


Motivational Posters

Yet another of my pet peeves are those motivational posters that people put up in offices. I love these parodies of them.

Chris Penn Died

I can't say this leaves me exactly shocked.
(CBS) Actor Chris Penn, brother of Sean Penn, was found dead at his Santa Monica condominium, authorities said.

Santa Monica police discovered the actor's body at his first-floor residence around 4 p.m., Lt. Frank Fabrega said. Police said he was 40 but several celebrity Web sites list his age as 43. There were no obvious signs of foul play, Fabrega said. Autopsy results were pending.

Monday, January 23, 2006

I've gotta say it

Battlestar Gallactica sucks. I know everybody loves it. It's still sci-fi crap.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Those Guys Have Something To Put On Their Resumes

Thanks to Alex at The Noonzwire for finding this photo.

A few years ago the Army was running recruitment ads (I'm hoping it was before the war was joined) that had a guy sitting in a job interview with the interviewee having thoughts back about his experiences with the Army.

His thoughts were about coordinating some sort of helicopter operation. It looked like something you would only want Jack Bauer handling.

The crux of the commercial was the rather prissy interviewer asking, "How do you handle stress?" The guy sort of gave an ironic smile and that was the end of the ad. The implication was clear. "Stress? You think a fucking OFFICE can generate stress? I think I'll be alright so long as I don't have to choke you to death in order to get a cup of coffee."

I waited tables for about five years. I remember sometimes I got wound up because people didn't get their Diet Coke with lime wedge refills fast enough. Sometimes women didn't like their manicotti and would ask for the manager. Sometimes it was stressful.

Of course, there is stress...

And there is stress.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Ok. Guys. Stop This Now.

The real war isn't over yet. ANYONE working in Justice that is dealing with this nonsense needs to be reassigned.
In court papers that the San Jose Mercury News reported on after seeing them Wednesday, the Bush administration depicts the information as vital in its effort to restore online child protection laws that have been struck down by the U.S. Supreme Court.
I'm well aware that I'm taking a cheap shot using the "why are they doing this when there is a war on" argument. I don't have the energy or the intellectual capacity to make a well reasoned argument for why this is such a bad idea. Just please knock it off.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006


I want to post something. I just don't have anything interesting me.

Thursday, January 12, 2006

If You Like The Show, Go Check Them Out


Would it be permissible under McCain's Al Qaeda Bill of Rights to force illegal combatants to listen to the Alito hearings?

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Bush to be indicted.

Well, not really. But a bunch of kooks are going to pretend like they are indicting him. It reminds me of Conyers' fake impeachment hearings.

The commission aims to both frame and fuel a society-wide discussion of whether, or not, the administration of George W. Bush is guilty of war crimes, crimes against humanity, and other high crimes. It will do this by bringing the truth to light, and by applying exacting standards, to determine if unpardonable crimes have been committed.

There is the usual list of nonsense. War of aggression, torture, rendering and murder... blah blah blah. But then we get to the really serious charges:

Destruction of the Global Environment

The Commission will inquire into the following charges:

Count 1: Denial and Distortion of Scientific Consensus and Findings--
The Bush administration has consistently denied the scientific consensus aroun
d global warming and its causes. Administration officials have misrepresented, distorted, and suppressed scientific information on the subject, especially as it would impact public opinion.

Count 2: Obstructionism on International Efforts--
The Bush administration has refused to take any measures to curb the emissions of greenhouse gases, guided by narrow corporate interests. It has withdrawn from any international efforts that would impose binding restrictions, however minimal. It has done this with full knowledge of the catastrophic effects of global warming and the disproportionate U.S. share of world greenhouse gas emissions, the leading cause of global warming.

full indictment

Attacks on Global Public Health

The Commission will inquire into the following charges:

Count 1: Imposition of Abstinence-Only HIV Prevention Programs--
The Bush administration is using its political influence, aid, and funding in the sphere of HIV/AIDS prevention and treatment to advance policies and programs that worsen the AIDS pandemic. Guided by a Christian fundamentalist ideological agenda, the administration is
promoting and forcing deadly abstinence-only HIV prevention and sex education programs instead of proven comprehensive programs that comprise consistent and correct use of condoms.

Count 2: Imposition of “Gag-Rule”--
The Bush administration has re-instated the “gag-rule” policy which restricts foreign organizations that receive US funds from using their own, non-U.S., funds to provide legal abortion services or even provide accurate medical counseling or referrals regarding abortion. This policy has led to the closing of reproductive health clinics dependent on international funding in very poor parts of the world. In many areas, these clinics have also been the only
source of HIV/AIDS prevention and care programs, including the supply of much-needed and life-saving condoms.

Count 3: Distortion of Science--

The Bush administration and its political operatives have distorted sound science and attempted to suppress medical research studies in HIV prevention when it conflicts with the ideology of the Christian Right.

Count 4: Restriction of Generics--
The Bush administration has used its political and economic power to coerce other countries into agreements that severely restrict the manufacture and supply of generic drugs, the only affordable option for most HIV positive people in the Third World.

full indictment

They then throw in some fun charges about Hurricane Katrina, then get to their surprise guest. She's testifying today! That's right, it's disgraced BG Janis Karpinski from Abu Ghraib prison.

Would you rather get stacked naked with the Abu Ghraib prisoners, or get a piece of this?

Monday, January 09, 2006

Holy Good Christ. Please Get Off My Side!

I started off wanting to do a post about how, yeah, Pat Robertson says some really stupid things, but at least the RNC didn't elect him Chairman.... ha ha ha.

I never really kept up with Reverend Beggingforalightningbolt. I just always sort of cringed and ignored the silly fop whenever I saw him on a cable news program and muttered to myself, "Get off my side." So I tried to do a little compare and contrast of Reverend Askingforit with Howard Dean. Not even close. Robertson is more aptly compared to Louis Farrakhan. The good Reverend needs to be confined. Or at least kept away from TV cameras. All I can say is that if this site has these quotes accurate (and they sound like things I remember hearing) Robertson should be avoided by anyone who wouldn't kiss Al Sharpton's ring.

I want to say again. I don't KNOW these quotes are genuine, but they certainly have the ring of truth in my ear. If they are accurate-

Really, Pat. GET THE FUCK OFF MY SIDE! Lots of us have been WAY too polite for WAY too long. GET THE FUCK AWAY from any argument that might possibly make people think I agree with you. If you are arguing in favor of gravity I want you to change your tune. If you are a Green Bay Packer fan I want you to find another team (not that it will be a sacrifice for you this season). Just please. Ronald Reagan said to never speak ill of other Republicans. He obviously never read some of the pencil-in-the-eye-to-keep-me-from-reading-any-more shit you have said. Get away from me. FAR AWAY.

Now.. here's why:
“I would warn Orlando that you’re right in the way of some serious hurricanes, and I don’t think I’d be waving those flags in God’s face if I were you, This is not a message of hate — this is a message of redemption. But a condition like this will bring about the destruction of your nation. It’ll bring about terrorist bombs; it’ll bring earthquakes, tornadoes, and possibly a meteor.” –Pat Robertson, on “gay days” at Disneyworld

Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It’s no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history.” –Pat Robertson
There are plenty more. I'm sure they are 'taken out of context'. But honestly... go read them all and try to imagine what bizarro world would have to exist for his words to make sense in ANY context.

Like I said at the top, I came into this hoping to make a comparison and take a cheap shot at Howard Dean and the DNC, who also are always deserving of derision. But Holy Shit, Pat. Get the fuck off my side.

Now go read the rest of Reverend Assmouth's proclamations at Poliburo Diktat.

** Just minutes later **
Please don't let me have been taken in again.

Alito's forbearance

I think the guy should be approved simply for having the ability to feign interest in what these nutsacks are blathering on about.

** Updates and further thoughts after watching more of this nonsense **

Paint drying and grass growing doesn't do this justice. Analogies fail me. At least paint and grass don't make me want to hunt down and kill the people that put them there. Take note of this voters of Vermont and Massachusetts. To achieve this level of horseshit is truly amazing. It takes new superlatives to describe it. It was monotonulous! Not quite right. Banalicious, maybe.

I was working with the TV on next to me. I kept getting drawn to the sheer stupidity of what I was watching, and not in a good way. It was like watching Jackass without the possibility of someone getting good and hurt, though I kept hoping.

Here are the questions it raised for me.

Why does the Senate spend the first day entirely devoted to THEIR opening statements? Will this somehow reduce the amount of ratchet-jawed bromides they will put forth when they ask their questions? Unlikely.

Is there still a Senator who doesn't know how he/she is going to vote on this? If so, nice principles. Waiting to see how the wind blows, huh? Please don't anyone explain that they are waiting to hear how Judge Alito answers the questions. This has nothing to do with how he answers the questions. I watched the Roberts hearings, as well. This is about the Senators talking, not the nominee.

Finally, I would like to thank Senator Leahy for clearing something up for me. I can admit when I'm wrong. I honestly thought that Barbara Boxer was the stupidest person in the Senate.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Does He Get Another Fine?

This strikes me as a bit of an overreaction. I'd be a bit pissed about a $300 fine, but setting yourself on fire to protest, just seems a little over the top, not to mention a misplacement of the target of anger.

A South Korean man was in critical condition after setting himself on fire Wednesday in a courtroom where he was sentenced to a $300 fine for disturbing the peace, a court official and an emergency room physician said.

The district court in Uijongbu north of Seoul had just upheld a fine he received in 2004 for causing a disturbance at a mobile phone sales outlet where he was demanding a new phone number.

The man walked out of the courtroom after the sentence, doused himself with heating oil, came back to the courtroom and set himself on fire, the court official said by telephone.

He Faked His Own Death!

Clearly upset with the downward trajectory of the quality of The West Wing, veteran character actor John Spencer has apparently faked his own death to run for Governor of New York. It is unclear how this revelation that he has taken a rather extreme step to get out of his NBC contract will affect the campaign.

Thanks to Alarming News for pointing out this story which is sure to rock the entertainment industry.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

About Time This Fucker Gets His Comuppance

H/T: Rob at Say Anything, who treats this with a bit more seriousness than I.

Everyone remember the argument from the nineties that Joe Camel was actually the anti-Christ? This evil character is the one who made me start smoking. I had thought it was just poor decision making on my part, but selfless activists who make a meager living as attorneys showed me the light. It wasn't my fault at all. It was the ads.

Now thankfully, we are getting some of the same activism targeting the evil brewers of the world.

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Young adults as well as teenagers drink more under the influence of advertising for alcoholic beverages, researchers said on Monday.

A survey of young people aged 15 to 26 found that for each additional alcohol advertisement viewed per month, there followed a 1 percent rise in the average number of drinks consumed, said study author Leslie Snyder of the University of Connecticut in Storrs.

The study’s findings counter industry arguments that only adult drinkers heed alcohol advertising, Snyder wrote in the journal Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicines.

All I can say is about time! I want to have the price of beer double in ten years just like smokes have (thanks for your help in that Gov. Pawlenty). I knew it was somebody else's fault that in college I once drank twelve beers in forty-five minutes then threw up on my front lawn.

Thanks a lot, dicknose.

The Starving Chaplain

Thanks once again to Stop The ACLU for pointing this one out. From WND:
The chaplain who has gone without food for two weeks in protest of the Navy's policy against praying in Jesus' name says Americans are giving the White House switchboard a workout each time he appears in the media, as supporters urge President Bush to sign an executive order allowing military clergy to pray according to their own faith traditions.
Lt. Gordon James Klingenschmitt says he will not eat until the president takes action to allow him and other chaplains the freedom to pray and preach without diluting God to a one-size-fits all deity.
Since 1998, the Navy has had a pluralism policy governing the behavior of chaplains, a policy Klingenschmitt ran into headlong when he first attended chaplain school in 2002.

So he joins the military knowing this policy is in effect. Then goes on a hunger strike because he doesn't like the policy? Chutzpah.

And again. My thoughts on hunger strikes: